nklr - you can't fix stupid

[roncriswell@sbcglobal.net]

I planned to ride this last Sunday but local sportswriters assured me the Plowboys would be on the move against the old man of el norte (Vikings). I rode Saturday about 300 miles with 3 other KLR'ers. A third of the ride was on muddy gravel roads. Cold, drizzly, rainy having to stop once to clean the mud off my visor and put some anti fog on as I could not see. I washed the KLR a week ago for the first time in a year. Now it looks perfect with mud all over it. I think I will go park it next to some posers today at the local hangout. It was a fun ride kinda across Tejas norte and Oklahoma south. The crummy weather was worth it as I would get to see the mighty Plowboys go against the old man of the North. Sunday .....was bright and sunny with a high of about 65 with no wind. Perfect for riding. As I made my way into my local Hooters to watch the game, I saw motorcycles whizzing past wondering if I made a mistake. I did ..........and the wicked Jud of the North brought this to my attention in an email when the Plowboys were down 14 to 3. The only bright spot in the afternoon was the 6' 1" brunette serving me numerous mind altering beverages. My head hurts. My wife and the brunette assured me things would be better next year. My wife drove me home. Motorcycles passed me. Next year when it is beautiful and 65 degrees, I will choose to ride. Good luck to the old man of the North against Nawlins. You have to admire an old guy playing so well ......but what's with this pants on the ground chant .........wicked Jud of the North? Criswell who is going to start watching women's volleyball and women's tennis for a more uplifting experience.

[Ross Lindberg]

I have no idea if this is true or not, but I got a good laugh from it.

 

 

 

Johnstown, PA (GlossyNews) – Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers “duct taped inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters,” according to police officials. “Something just went wrong,” said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest. “Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong.” The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups, “growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats,” decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event “in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats.” “In fact,” said the organizer, “motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it…ergo, they should stop.” According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage 1960’s era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting “you’re murderers” to passers by. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha began. “They peed on me!!!” charged one activist. “They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me ‘La Trene’, and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!” “I…I was trying to show my outrage at a man with a heavy leather jacket, and he…he didn’t even care. I called him a murderer, and all he said was, ‘You can’t prove that.’ Next thing I know he forced me to ride on the back of his motorcycle all day, and would not let me off, because his girl friend was out of town and I was almost a woman.” Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers “farted on their heads.” Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the ongoing nature of the investigation, however, organizers for the motorcycle club rally expressed “surprise” at the allegations. “That’s preposterous,” said one high-ranking member of the biker organizing committee. “We were having a party, and these people showed up and were very rude to us. They threw things at us, called us names, and tried to ruin the entire event. So, what did we do? We invited them to the party! What could be more friendly than that? You know, just because we are all members of motorcycle clubs does not mean we do not care about inclusiveness. Personally, I think it shows a lack of character for them to be saying such nasty things about us after we bent over backwards to make them feel welcome.” When confronted with the allegations of force-feeding the activists meat, using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in fast food restaurant dumpsters, and ‘farting on their heads,’ the organizer declined to comment in detail. “That’s just our secret handshake,” assured the organizer.