i went deer hunting this morning
Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2010 11:45 pm
There I was--it was a dark and stormy night.
no. not really.
It was about 50F at 0710 as I KiLeRista-ed at 70mphed Westward across the South Dakota prairie. Sun at your back, nippy air biting at your face and hands. What could be better, cough, or go wrong. shrug.
My new to me 2004 KLR with <1700 miles and it runs like a top (now it does--first day of ownership it went .8, trailered home with varnished gas and carburetor). Where was I? oh yeah. Sun at your back...nippy air and all that...when I begin to see a deer (doe) scrambling out of the sunflower field on my left. I apply my STOCK front/rear brakes, with STOCK brake lines with just two fingers and without excess pressure, cough, eyeballing this wayward bovine like a Smithfield Butterball turkey eyes the calender on the 4th Wednesday of November. Out of the sunflowers on the South side with all the intentions of crossing the road to the sunflowers on the North side seemed her dire intention--up to the side of the road going full tilt then back into the ditch going the same way as I.
At the first notice of her appearance, I had began to slow down, but now that she is paralleling my course, I kick it up a notch just to see how far she will 'go'. Oh, I would say we played this little game a good 15 secs and she is winding down a bit, but with more and more head motion that she wants to cross the road....
Just as suddenly as she had bolted Westward down the ditch she decided to turn 'right', ah, HARD STARBOARD RUDDER and made one of those square turns than only deer and a few goats have managed to master. LEAPING out of the ditch and directly into the the road.
Now, not wanting to be to pushy, I had left my self some maneuvering room of a couple of links just in case this might happen, covering my brakes with two finger the entire time. smile.
Who could figure, that the deer would fall down?
In front of the bike.
SPLAT. Like a cheerleader 'split' gone bad.
In front of the bike.
Well, the two lengths of deer that I had given as a safety margin disappeared like Barney Madoff's spread sheet.
What great sport.
Ride a great bike and now you get to try your hand at 'curb-jumping' a live curb.
On come the brakes--adequate in all respects, shrug and the deer lept back to its feet like Little Richard after doing the splits on stage. BAMM!.
The deer is down, the deer is up; I missed.
But got a good laugh for the next few miles....
but wait, there is more!
I spy a Cadillac SUV approaching the highway, my highway at a high rate of speed.
I slow. It becomes constant bearing, and decreasing range.
For you non-nautical types, that is the recipe for collision.
Constant bearing, decreasing range.
I began to wonder if they are even going to slow down--so I do, A LOT.
Down from 70 to at least 35, and I begin to wonder that these folks are going to enter the highway doing >25mph off the gravel, at, you guessed it, constant bearing, decreasing range.
Now, the pearl-coloured Caddy really has my attention! I am getting ready to become a bug on the grill of this GM behemoth. Even the car behind me has slowed significantly, as though it hoped it would score at least a nice Gore-Tex jacket in the deal. That thought only irritated me even more....'Honey, look at the nice coat I got--and a pair of slightly used mechanic's brand gloves. Maybe they will fit you?'
FINALLY, the drive looks in my directions as she has already rolled at least 2 car lengths past the stop sign, looks in my directions and locks the brakes (abs?) sliding out into the road.
I look directly at the driver--and I get a nice wave. It is a parishioner.
Think of the head lines "Methodist lady makes rendezvous with Methodist minister in an undisclosed location" film at 11.
Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, I liked the play.
The rest of the 57 mile ride was uneventful, other than my hands still hurt from the nippy air this morning.
I had the right bike, wrong gloves. smile.
revmaaatin. who hopes you got to ride today as well